Dear Reader,
Out of the gates here, I’ll warn you that this week’s Second Drafts is a heavy one. Personally, it was good to write and work through, and I hope it yields benefit to my readers, but I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that sexual harassment in the Body of Christ is one of my least favorite topics to read, write, or think about. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
In the meantime, I appreciated this note from a paid subscriber in response to last Saturday’s podcast interview with friend and author, Luke Davis (available to all readers for free):
“I was encouraged by this month’s podcast, first by Luke’s description of his dad (and mom) who were very intentional about investing in their children. In particular, he mentioned his dad doing Bible study and connecting individually with each their children one per night. A good image that I want to aspire to as I raise our three.
Secondly, I appreciated your insight into the motivation behind Luke’s writing—it is born out of writing for others: his wife, his son, and students in order to bless and serve them. It made me wonder, what gifting(s) do I have that I can use to serve and bless others? I’m ruminating on that. (I tend to struggle with pessimism towards any gifts or abilities I have so its a harder question for me to answer).
Thank you again Craig. I am enjoying your weekly newsletter and monthly podcast and book review. They have been thought provoking, interesting and have broadened my reading ‘cuisine’ beyond it’s usual fare.”
In case you missed it on the podcast page, Christian Focus Publications has made available two sets of Risen Hope that I’m giving away here at Second Drafts. To be entered for the drawing for one of the two-book sets, listen to the podcast for the name of Luke’s father (no, it’s not Darth Vader), then email the answer and your mailing address to me by midnight (MDT) tomorrow, March 19. Two winners will be randomly selected, and Peaches will send the books out on Monday, March 21.
As always, thanks for reading.
Craig
P.S.: As a reminder, you’re welcome and encouraged to email me directly with feedback, ideas, links, etc. at cmdunham [at] gmail [dot] com. Just know that, unless you specifically tell me not to, I may quote you here (though it will always be anonymously).
Programming Note
After 60 straight weeks of writing Second Drafts, I’m taking a break next week to play the role of Grandfather in Orpheus Ascending (see end of newsletter for poster and link to buy tickets). In my absence, I’ve asked friend and new sheep herder, Jake Aharonian, to write a guest feature for next Friday’s Second Drafts. As you may rightly discern from the studly sun-glassed smile, live home-birthed farm animal, Indiana Jones-like fedora, tattooed forearm, and bottom half of a favorite friend's promotional T-shirt, I’m leaving you in unique hands.
Hot Takes
Due to the length of this week’s feature, there are no Hot Takes in this edition.
But Is It Really about Sex?
“I’m not going to work for Christian organizations anymore. It just feels gross.”
These are the words of a friend, 15 years my junior, who has worked his fair share of jobs in Christian media, megachurches, and para-church organizations. His impetus for messaging me Tuesday was this story in Christianity Today, in which the magazine reported on sexual harassment accusations against…two of its own former leaders.
Yes, you read that correctly: CT is reporting on its own failures as an evangelical news outlet that failed to live up to its Christian commitments. Here are the first three paragraphs of the piece:
“For more than a dozen years, Christianity Today failed to hold two ministry leaders accountable for sexual harassment at its Carol Stream, Illinois, office.
A number of women reported demeaning, inappropriate, and offensive behavior by former editor in chief Mark Galli and former advertising director Olatokunbo Olawoye. But their behavior was not checked and the men were not disciplined, according to an external assessment of the ministry’s culture released Tuesday.
The report identified a pair of problems at the flagship magazine of American evangelicalism: a poor process for ‘reporting, investigating, and resolving harassment allegations’ and a culture of unconscious sexism that can be ‘inhospitable to women.’ CT has made the assessment public.”
CT President, CEO, and Editor-in-Chief Timothy Dalrymple explained the rationale for publishing both the article and the report in his accompanying editorial:
“Christianity Today as a ministry exists to serve the church, and one way we serve the church is by holding ministries accountable to the ideals of our faith. As such, we must hold ourselves to the highest standards, too. When we fall short of those standards, we must demonstrate transparency, accountability, and confession. Perhaps the best way we can serve the church in this season, when so many churches and ministries struggle with questions of harassment and the proper relationships between the sexes in the workplace, is to be as open as possible throughout our journey and invite others to learn with us.”
Admirable. Noble. Unfortunate. Disgusting. It takes more than one adjective to describe this latest breach (among too many others; cf. Ravi Zacharias, Mark Driscoll, Bill Hybels, Kanakuk Camps, and most recently, Canada’s Bruxy Cavey) of biblical sexual ethics in Christendom. The behavior is reprehensible; the harm and hurt are real; the witness to the world, terrible. This is not the way things are supposed to be among those of us who claim to follow Christ.
And yet here we are. Again.
While I encourage you to read both pieces, I’m not going to rehash the report or the rationale put forth by the editorial in this space; both are well-written and stand on their own as objective attempts at journalistic integrity. I’m grateful for CT telling on themselves and modeling a right response to the failures of those former leaders within their midst, even going so far to ensure full disclosure as to give their editors permission to bypass executive and board oversight in pursuit of the truth:
“Neither I [Dalrymple] nor any other member of the executive team at Christianity Today have shaped their [CT news editor Daniel Silliman and CT senior news editor Kate Shellnut] report, nor will I or any member of the executive team see that report before it publishes. We believe in the power of journalism to shine a light on the truth and promote accountability, and we should hold ourselves to the same high standards as other ministries.”
Critics of evangelicals (agnostics, atheists, and some “progressive” Christians) tend to pounce on news of such failures, rejoicing in the name of doing away with anything of that “old-time religion” (and by “old-time,” I mean that of the last 80 years, when evangelicalism came into its own as a modern movement leading to the version we have today).
On the other hand, some evangelicals attempt to double-down on their defense despite the evidence presented with the accusations, casting doubt on the victims coming forward, and poisoning the wells of their character, hiding behind weak excuses of “misunderstanding” or “mistakes,” and not being willing to take responsibility.
Neither response is good for the Body of Christ, whether internally or in the eyes of a watching world. Thus, my hope in sharing my perspective is to avoid the ditches of denunciation or denial and remind us instead of our dependence on the mercy of God to bring truth to light, grace for forgiveness, and love to cover a multitude of sins.
No, Not Everybody’s Doing It
As it’s what I know (and if for no other cause than full disclosure), let me start with my own set of experiences that shape some of my perspective and assumptions.
After graduating from college, I served for 12 years as part of an international para-church discipleship ministry. The relationships among the men and women I served with (as well as what I knew and heard about across the organization—a work spanning thousands of staff worldwide) were appropriate. This doesn’t mean there wasn’t conflict or hurt, but I was not aware of sexual harassment being the source of any of it; on the contrary, my time during those years was highly developmental in watching and learning how to set appropriate boundaries and work well with women.
The same can be said for the various churches (both evangelical and Reformed) that Megan and I have been a part of over the years; again, relationships were not always perfect, but none of that imperfection (to my knowledge) came out of inappropriate sexual harassment among or at the hands of pastoral staff with their flocks. Pastors and elders cared for their staff and people, and worked together accordingly.
The same is true of my experience at seminary, as well as each of the five Christian schools—including the three I’ve led—with whom Megan and I have been involved. Personally (and mercifully), I have never been accused of sexual harassment, nor have I had to address with staff any allegations of inappropriate behavior. Because there were fallen people involved, there were plenty of other issues to wade through, but none had anything to do with sexual impropriety, for which I am grateful.
Perhaps I’ve just been fortunate to have been around the good ones, but it’s God’s grace in my life that I was raised, trained, and (if adjustment was needed at the first sign of any disrespect) rebuked to value women as equally worthy and valuable, having also been created in God’s image. I hope and pray that the women I’ve worked with over the years (as well as my wife and daughters) would affirm and testify to this.
The men to which I refer have held themselves to a higher and humble standard, but they have also been surrounded by others (elders, peers, spouses, as well as those they lead—some of the best constructive feedback I’ve ever received on this topic was from women I supervised) who do not let them get away with an abuse of power.
Humility and accountability are what so much of this comes down to, as the lack of either gives one permission to think more highly of himself than others. From there, it’s not hard to create a narrative that inappropriate behavior can somehow be justified, and the longer that narrative goes without confession or challenge, the sooner it may turn into action. All of this, of course, is directly opposite of what Jesus taught (and Paul and the apostles perpetually echoed) in the Scriptures about men and women “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” But this is what sin—our falling short of the glory of God—does: it twists what is true into what is false.
Not Sex, But Power
Sin also confuses us as to what is really going on in our hearts and the hearts of others. Thus, whereas the tendency in reading reports of sexual harassment often leads to knee-jerk thinking that sex is the issue, I would argue that the motive behind such inappropriate behavior is not as much about sex as it is about power.
Many know the story of David’s adulterous manipulation of Bathsheba, but another, even more awful (not that the story of David and Bathsheba isn’t) Old Testament story lines up with my power thesis even more.
In 2 Samuel 13, Amnon and Tamar are half-siblings, with David as their father. The Scriptures record that Amnon was infatuated with and then in love with Tamar, so much so that he made himself sick in his desire for her until he and a friend came up with a plan to lure Tamar into his chambers so he could have his way with her.
“…Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.” 2 Samuel 13:2
Sadly, the plan worked, and Amnon’s power play succeeded. But afterwards, the Scriptures record that,
“Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, ‘Get up! Go!’
But she said to him, ‘No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.’
But he would not listen to her. He called the young man who served him and said, ‘Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her.’” 2 Samuel 13:15-17
The sex was one thing; the quest to have it was another. Remember, the Scriptures make a point in telling us that Amnon’s sickness came not from his love for her, but because he felt there was nothing he could do to get at Tamar’s virginity (see 2 Samuel 13:2). Indeed, Amnon’s sin had everything to do with lust, but it was for power over Tamar as much as it was for sex with her; had Amnon only wanted sex with her, he would never have kicked her out afterward, nor not pursued her further in the future.
Sex was a means to an end; power was the end.
Playgrounds for Those Who Want to Be Powerful
This lust for power—manifesting yet often masquerading itself in the desire for sex—is what I think is going on in a majority of modern sexual harassment cases, whether in Christendom or anywhere else. The quest for power—for control, for autonomy—is our oldest sin (see Genesis 3), and whereas pride comes before a fall, the handoff takes place at the transition point from “I want and could” to “I deserve and will.”
It is interesting that the cases we read and hear most about tend to come out of larger, more influential groups. This isn’t to say there isn’t the occasional wolf preying on a small flock of sheep somewhere, but when the pen is smaller, it’s a little easier to differentiate the wolf in sheep’s clothing from the actual sheep.
But sometimes only a little.
Part of why I think we see a proliferation of abuse situations coming out of larger, more influential places is because they have the potential to wield the kind of power that power-hungry people want to wield. Whether due to size or reach, budget or resources, huge megachurches, influential publishers—heck, even popular kids camps—can be playgrounds for those who want to be powerful.
One way they evaluate how powerful they are is to test—whether subconsciously or even consciously, believe it or not—what they can get away with, even in the name of Jesus (which—without taking anything away from pain of their human victims—is perhaps the sickest part of their power grabbing). The control starts small and escalates over time, callousing their consciences as results are reinforced. Many of these leaders have charismatic, larger-than-life personalities (read: egos), and can seem hard to push back on by those with more meek and mild temperaments. Bigger is always better, and as everyone loves a party, they don’t mind at all being in the middle of it for all to see. They believe their own press and are more than happy to have people around them doing the same.
Eventually, these challenges aren’t enough…or they get bored…or they become physically attracted to or intrigued by someone. But again, it’s not always about sex; it’s usually about power. Comments are made; touches are extended; responses are gauged. There’s something they want, but it’s not the actual person involved; rather, it’s what that person represents, namely one beyond their control—for now—that they’re after. It becomes a game, and because celebrity has replaced integrity in our modern church era, nobody wants to be a buzzkill when rules are broken.
Where’s the Hope?
Either way—whether motivated by sex or power or something altogether different— sexual harassment and abuse are evil, especially in Christian media, especially in churches, and especially in para-church organizations. Why? It’s simple. Because people (particularly women and children) are hurt by it—many times irreparably so.
For those who are accused, they should be reported; for those who are reported, they should be investigated; for those who are investigated and found guilty, they should be punished. And for those who are found innocent, they should work to be more careful in how they honor others, conducting themselves more accordingly and appropriately, so that, “among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality” (Ephesians 5:3a NIV).
For those who have felt tempted but not (yet) been caught, now is the time for repentance, but maybe not from what you think you need to repent of. Bill Thrall, founder of the para-church ministry, TrueFace, says,
“If you find yourself convincing the same sin over and over again, you might be confessing the wrong sin.”
Maybe instead of confessing and repenting of sexual lust, try confessing and repenting of a lust for power. What difference would that adjustment make in how you pray, act, and think of others? Maybe instead of asking God to make you successful in your work, try asking God to humble you in it. After all, 1 Peter 5:5b-7 (ESV) says,
“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
Humility—not just for the sake of being humbled, but toward one another. Maybe the aforementioned proper time of exaltation never comes (Peter certainly doesn’t promise anything, other than it’s at God’s discretion). But there’s no condition to his admonition to cast anxieties on God. Why? Because, Peter states, God cares for you.
For those who have been harassed or abused—in word or in deed or in both—I’m so sorry. What happened to you is not the way it’s supposed to be, and God weeps with you even as he is at work healing you and bringing your abuser(s) to justice.
In the midst of the hurt, however, I pray you will risk trusting again—not blindly, nor without verifying—and that God will bring to you someone worthy of your trust. You may not believe it, but there are faithful men—leaders, pastors, headmasters, laymen—who want nothing more than to earn your trust and, as you allow them, be part of restoring your dignity. There are good men who are sorry for your hurt.
A Prayer
In the hope of ending well (or perhaps just ending), I share this prayer from Douglas Kaine McKelvey’s second volume of Every Moment Holy: Death, Grief, and Hope. The prayer is “To Welcome Another into My Grief,” and I pray it is one that meets a need.
O God Who Inhabits Our Sorrows, it is no easy thing to admit another person into my grief. For grief—even if it is a grief common to many—is ever an intimate, personal thing. It can feel such a risk to allow anyone else access to these, my most wounded places.
And yet you, O Lord, have clearly called your children to bear on another’s burdens. You have instructed us to mourn with those who mourn, even naming such service as an act of worship.
But this command can only be fulfilled when each of us, in the midst of our own sufferings, are also willing to allow others who know and love us well to walk alongside us, granting them access to the places where we are most hurting and vulnerable.
This is no easy thing. Nor is it simple. Nor is it without great risk of misunderstanding, frustration, and further pain. For my grief is a messy place, with burn marks, smudges, and torn edges. I do not understand it all, so how could I expect a friend to make easy sense of it?
Here in my grief, all emotions can grow so tangled that the shape and the logic and the order of daily life become garbled and indecipherable. I am wounded, vulnerable, angry, exhausted. I am weak and unyielding. I make heroic decisions at dawn and abandon them by noon. I am torn apart and stapled together. I feel like a shambling thing, a patched shell of mismatched pieces. I am disintegrated, my parts compartmentalized and no longer functioning as a whole.
I know that grieving will expose these wrecked and struggling parts of my heart that I would rather guard. This makes it so hard to let another walk with me. And yet, in your wisdom and mercy, O Lord, you have decreed that it is not good for us to grieve alone. We who are called by your name are to suffer and to rejoice, together. And this bond of gentle, resolute love is to be one of the marks that defines your body, your children, your church. Now send me friends who will do this difficult work with me, O God. Send me sympathetic allies willing to endure moments of awkwardness and hurt feelings in order to learn with me what it means to bear one another’s most grievous burdens. Send me friends who will not run from the mess of what it means to love each other well in times of turbulent emotions and unpredictable responses. Grace my journey with fellow pilgrims whose hearts are persistent and committed, unwavering ones who will weep with me on this shore, and who will rejoice with me on the far shore once we have navigated the flood of grief.
Together, O Christ, let us find a shelter of understanding, where sympathy and vulnerability might coexist; where grace would foster between us true fellowship, so that your body would minister as you intended it, one part to another, as each has need. Teach your children what it means to walk together when it would be so much easier to walk away. Lord, let me in my need be open to receive, and when confronted with the needs of others, let me be willing to serve. Amen.
Buy Your Tickets Now for Orpheus Ascending
Don’t miss the chance to see yours truly come out of a 30-year theatrical retirement to play the role of Grandfather in Orpheus Ascending next weekend at Montana State University's Black Box Theatre. The intimate theater (3/4 in the round) only sits 150 at a time, so you're sure to get a good seat at any one of the five shows. Tickets are $15!
Craig’s (Busted) NCAA March Madness Bracket
In case anyone cares, here’s my newly-busted NCAA March Madness Men's Basketball bracket (thank you, St. Mary’s, Richmond, and Arkansas), comin’ at you with my best mid-to-late-80s tainted picks, which represent the last time I paid week-to-week attention to a sport. If programs have changed since then (which I'm sure they have), I'm toast…or not, since that’s why they call it “madness.”
Until next time.