Famous, Like, Speeches in Teenspeak History

A few of my fellow teachers and I are on a crusade against the misuse of the words "like," "sorta," and "kinda." The goal of "The Movement," as we are calling it, is to combat what historian David McCullough calls "verbal diarrhea" in one's conversations. We think of ourselves as fiber for the teenage vernacular.

Last week, we were interviewed by the school paper regarding our cause. As teachers who desire to show as well as tell, we thought it might be a good idea to suggest what famous speeches of the past might sound like in teenspeak. Below is the short list we submitted (feel free to add your own in the comments):

• “I, like, think, therefore, I am…sorta.” Descartes

• “Blessed are, like, the meek, for they will kinda inherit the earth.” Jesus of Nazareth

• “The only thing we have to fear, kinda, is like, fear itself.” Franklin Delano Roosevelt

• “I kinda have a dream, sorta.” Martin Luther King Jr.

• “Mr. Gorbachev, like, tear down this wall.” Ronald Reagan

• "The, like, only thing I can kinda offer is, like, blood, sweat, toil, and, like, tears.” Winston Churchill

To clarify, the point we think needs reiterating is that we are not trying to nit-pick kids' language to death at the expense of being able to speak into their lives; rather, we are trying to care about who they are (and are becoming) as a whole person, which requires caring about their language as well.

When does giving grace enable bad behavior? Answer: when truth is removed from the equation. The truth is that our students (and our culture) do not value - nor are held accountable for - properly expressing themselves anymore. No one's trying to be mean in addressing the issue here, but we are trying to be intentional.

Believe it or not, the kids don't seem to resent it; if anything, I've had a few thank me for challenging them on it (probably - and unfortunately - because they don't get it from other sources). And that’s like, cool, you know?