Free Punxsutawney Phil

From The Folklore of American Holidays:

"Groundhog Day or Groundhog's Day is a holiday celebrated in Pennsylvania, New York, Canada, and other locations on February 2. In weather lore, if a groundhog, also known as a woodchuck, marmot or ground squirrel, emerges from its burrow on this day and fails to see its shadow because the weather is cloudy, winter will soon end. If the groundhog sees its shadow, it will return into its burrow, and the winter will continue for 6 more weeks."

Apparently, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning and said winter's not over. He also said, "You people are idiots if you think a varmint can forecast the weather," but was then muzzled, tranquilized, and whisked away by his handlers to an undisclosed location.

You read it here first.