Real Theological Heroes

Learner thought this anonymous submission to the seminary's bi-weekly newsletter was pseudo-clever. It's a play off the Bud Light's "Real Men of Genius/Real American Hero" radio commercials. (I've edited the lyrics slightly to protect our locational anonymity):

The seminary presents real theological heroes

Today we salute you First Year Seminary Student.

FIRST YEAR SEMINARY STUDENT!

You answered the call, now you're reading The Call.

Soon you'll learn things you never thought could be learned:

parsing Greek, reading books, and oh, drinking lots of coffee.

Where there's a personality test, you'll take it.

A genitive, you'll parse it.

An FCF, you'll find it.

FALLEN CONDITION FOCUS!

So crack open that Metzger lexicon, oh master of the Divine languages. It may be Greek to you now, but someday you'll get it.

First Year Seminary student.....

The Seminary, Somewhere in the Midwest

Granted, he says, it loses a bit (okay, a lot) in the Web replication, but if you've heard the commercials, you can imagine it.