The older we get, the more loss we will experience. And that's hard.
I was reminded of this yet again today when I found out that friend and mentor Paul Stanley passed away on Thanksgiving. Paul was a former international vice-president of The Navigators, a fellow INTJ, and a big supporter of my writing and responsible for many of the big ideas in TwentySomeone.
I first met Paul in my mid-twenties and resonated with the work he was doing at the time in thinking and teaching about the different stages of life and ministry; when I first heard him speak about what he was calling the Life Stages project, I was hooked. While getting to know each other over the next few years, Paul learned of my penchant for writing and invited me to join him in fleshing out and co-authoring the book with him. I was humbled and thrilled to be asked to do so.
Unfortunately, the timing of the project ended up not being quite right for him, so when his responsibilities (which were significant) with the organization increased, I asked him if I could focus just on the life stage of the twenties (I was 27 at the time) and go forward and build upon his thematic ideas. He gave me his whole-hearted blessing, and the book was published five years later.
But it wasn't just me who was a beneficiary of Paul's wisdom. Paul's wife of 57 years, Phyllis, took an active interest in Megan at a crucial time when we were beginning our family. She helped shape Megan's perspectives on child-raising, hospitality, and excellence, and was a good example of serving alongside her husband in ministry. They were a dynamic couple who loved many well.
When I think of Paul, I'm reminded of Hebrews 13:7:
"Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith."
Paul was that kind of a leader - one not afraid to step out and lead, who spoke the Word of God, and who lived a life of faith well-worthy of imitation. I'm grateful for our time together and only wish I could have had the chance one last time to thank him for all of it.
(If you're one to listen to podcasts and messages as part of your week, let me make you aware of Paul's catalog - all free - at The Navigators' Discipleship Library. There are plenty of messages worth your time, but I'd encourage you to listen to "Life Stages and Our Own Development" to start.)