Top Ten Signs You Know It's Finals Week

10. After 30-minute search, you finally find your four children playing in unmowed backyard.

9. Final paper you just turned in has "clever" title of Paul, Stoicism & "Body" Language in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.

8. Normally introverted wife (who has no finals) suddenly turns into social queen.

7. Phone messages from your friend Mitchell start with, "Hi, this is Mitchell, the guy you used to be friends with."

6. Idea of reading anything without a highlighter makes you almost giddy.

5. Rather than require you to check out books, librarians just wave you through.

4. Despite a normal lack of giftedness in basic aspects of "home handiness," you feel a strange desire to finish out the basement all by yourself.

3. Despite a basic degree of common sense, you don't seem to mind that the basement you would be finishing out is in the house that you rent from your landlord.

2. Two words: "ontological" and "supralapsarian".

1. Constantly neglecting your studies by justifying your "need" to blog.

For those with finals (or for those who still remember), add your own entry in the comments.