Top Ten Ways to Frighten the New Neighbors

10. Introduce yourself...with psychoses.

9. Spread out all your stuff across the backyard and explain that, just for fun, you're re-creating the plane crash set from LOST.

8. Recruit high school students to help you move so everyone thinks you have 17 teenagers.

7. Ask if you can borrow a roll of toilet paper, and then ask if they want it back when you're done.

6. Make friends with your neighbor's dog(s), reminiscing about the dog you used to have until...well...something terrible happened.

5. Smile and wave. A lot.

4. Don't smile and wave. At all.

3. Remark that you're not sure exactly where your property line is, but really, what's a few feet between neighbors?

2. Inquire as to the official neighborhood protocol for party parking.

1. Mention you keep a blog.