Dear Reader,
Last week’s newsletter on “Getting Beyond Grades” struck a chord with several readers. Here’s what I heard from those who chimed in:
“I can definitely relate to all the college mail and emails as we are going through that now ourselves. And don't even get us started on the whole topic of grades. Fortunately, we have a pretty healthy view around our house - nobody thinks that getting a bunch of A's is the be-all and end-all of academia, and we're more about acknowledging growth, a true understanding of the material, and not stressing if a bad day led to a bad grade. Kudos for being willing to put that 2.75 GPA out there!”
Yes, it’s not a big number, but it’s mine to share, I guess. Here’s a note from a mom:
“Talk about ‘hitting home’…I think with our first-born we were definitely focused on the grades (sad to admit). As time went on and three more children appeared, that changed. We now find ourselves telling our 16-year old, ‘You have got to STOP studying so much. We literally do not care what your grades are as long as you are doing your best and LIVING.’ (Said to her on a Friday night when she was preparing a project due in TEN DAYS.)
I’m sitting here sipping coffee, anxiously awaiting the awakening, both physical and mental, of my girls. Thank you for giving us something to share with them that proves it is normal to NOT focus on the number. I hope readership of this one doubles last week!”
Glad to oblige. Last week was down 14% from the week before (not every week - especially one focused on grades - will tie records), but I appreciate the sentiment. Speaking of the numbers:
“I can say that I'm well ensconced in that 61 percent of your read rate because I look forward to seeing it each Friday. The only drawback is that your content is just a little too high-quality. I cannot count how many times I've had to stop and start reading because I want to respond, or because I clicked the link and followed an Internet breadcrumb trail to ancillary topics. My outbox has no fewer than a half-dozen abortive responses to past mailings, gathering virtual cobwebs for lack of time.
For someone whose neuroreceptors have been carefully conditioned by social media to simply click ‘Like’ or ‘Share,’ the quality of your content is making it very difficult to interact. Please, think of us out here in the Internet wastelands, and share more dross that can be received with bland indifference.”
This is one of the best rebukes I’ve ever received. I’ll try to do better - er, worse - in the future.
Thanks for the feedback and, as always, for reading.
Craig
P.S.: As a reminder, you’re welcome and encouraged to email me directly with feedback, ideas, links, etc. at cmdunham [at] gmail [dot] com. Just know that, unless you specifically tell me not to, I may quote you here (though it will always be anonymously).
Hot Takes
“We Can't Wait for Universities to Fix Themselves. So We're Starting a New One.” - In Bari Weiss’ excellent Substack newsletter, Common Sense, she published an announcement by Pano Kanelos, former President of St. John's College, with the rationale behind the new university he and others are starting:
“There is a gaping chasm between the promise and the reality of higher education. Yale’s motto is Lux et Veritas, light and truth. Harvard proclaims: Veritas. Young men and women of Stanford are told Die Luft der Freiheit weht: The wind of freedom blows.
These are soaring words. But in these top schools, and in so many others, can we actually claim that the pursuit of truth—once the central purpose of a university—remains the highest virtue? Do we honestly believe that the crucial means to that end—freedom of inquiry and civil discourse—prevail when illiberalism has become a pervasive feature of campus life?”
Kanelos goes on (for longer than needed) to introduce his solution: the new University of Austin, “a university dedicated to the fearless pursuit of truth.”
While I’m excited for the stated priority of freedom in higher education, I resonate with Notre Dame professor/philosopher Patrick Deneen’s cautionary tweet in response:
Deneen went on to say:
Here's hoping the “substantive vision” they land on is even greater than one of just “freedom” to have one. Also, that they find funding for this; starting a university is expensive, as New York Times columnist Russ Douthat outlines. (Of course, there will always be critics, but at least McSweeney’s is funny.)
To learn more about the vision of the University of Austin, visit their website.
“How High Are Child Care Costs? 40% of Parents Have Gone Into Debt Over It” - Along with everything else affected by inflation, add to the list child care, the cost of which has been steadily increasing since 2018:
“For working parents, child care is a necessity. Yet, it’s often challenging to secure and afford quality care. ‘Working families across the country pay a significant percentage of their annual earnings to cover the price of child care,’ said Mario Cardona, Chief of Policy and Practice for Child Care Aware of America, a national child care advocacy organization.”
Here’s the visual:
“Half the parents we surveyed reported spending at least 25% of their income on child care. That’s a significant increase from when The Penny Hoarder surveyed parents about the cost of child care in 2018. Back then, the median percentage of income parents said they spent on child care was 15%.
Child Care Aware of America uses an affordability benchmark from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, which states that families who are receiving child care subsidies should not pay more than 7% of their income toward co-payments.
‘We’ve used this benchmark to say that no family should pay more than 7% of income towards child care, whether they receive child care subsidies or not,’ he [Cardona] said.
Following these guidelines, a family earning $5,000 a month should be paying no more than $350 a month for child care.”
President Biden and Vice-President Harris have said they are set on increasing funding for child care costs via tax-payer monies through the American Families Plan:
“The American Families Plan will provide direct support to families to ensure that low- and middle-income families spend no more than seven percent of their income on child care, and that the child care they access is of high-quality.”
In reality, the American Families Plan dis-incentivizes the highest quality child care (parents) because funds can only be used for “family child care providers”:
“The plan will also provide families with a range of inclusive and accessible options to choose from for their child, from child care centers to family child care providers to Early Head Start.”
In other words, if a “family child care provider” is not a parent or a loved one caring for a child at home, a low-to-middle-income family can get thousands in aid. But if a parent or loved one is the “family child care provider” caring for his or her child in at home, a low-to-middle-income family gets nothing.
Here’s an idea: if the Administration is bound and determined to make this “once-in-a-generation investment in our nation’s future” (and from all that I’ve seen, they most certainly are), how about we incentivize parents and make it easier for them or a relative to stay home with their kids rather than subsidize outsourcing their kids to government run family child care providers?
Tuning In
During my seminary days in St. Louis, one of the assignments for our Music & Theology class was to invite a group of friends (preferably skeptics) to spend an evening listening to and discussing a meaningful song of each person’s choosing.
Megan and I had just met two new couples – Mark and Toni and Nate and Sarah – in our neighborhood, and this seemed a creative way to invite them over and get to know them. I made up an invitation, and we followed up with a phone call, as neither couple was home when we stopped by to initially make the invite deliveries. Unfortunately, only Mark and Toni could make the date (Sarah said they could have, but Nate hadn’t shown her the invite in time, so they had to take a raincheck).
While neither Megan nor I are particularly extroverted, we can be high-functioning introverts when we have to be. Mark and Toni seemed glad to be invited for the event and offered to bring something for the meal, though they made no mention of the music aspect of the evening’s invitation on the phone. Since the topic hadn’t come up, Megan and I prepared anyway, but we weren’t going to force the issue if it didn’t happen naturally, which (thankfully) it did.
The Tunes
As I hadn’t communicated it beforehand, I was not planning to tell Mark and Toni that the initial impetus for the music portion of the evening was the Music & Theology assignment; it didn’t seem necessary to qualify, and I didn’t want them to feel like a project by participating. We certainly weren’t viewing them in that way.
After sitting down after dinner and explaining the idea of what we were doing, I went first, sharing a song about marriage titled “Suitcase” by blues artist Keb’ Mo’. I picked this song as I thought it might be one of common ground for all four of us as married couples with kids because it captures some of the challenges of marriage and family:
“So we put our bags together
Made a home for two
People, we put our bags together
You know we made a home for two
Then along came the children
Gave ‘em all a little suitcase, too”
Toni went next, seemingly nervous about her choice of Van Morrison’s “Moondance,” explaining it was the first song she and Mark danced to at their wedding reception:
“Well, it's a marvelous night for a Moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
'Neath the cover of October skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And I'm trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low”
Mark then offered to go, playing “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” by They Might Be Giants and commenting that he just liked the song and thought we’d know it (which we did):
“Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night
Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting in Istanbul”
Megan finished up, playing “A Gift for Melody Anne” by The Avett Brothers, explaining that she liked what they said and wanted to be about these things as well:
“I wanna hold hands
Yeah, and I wanna make love
And I wanna keep running all day
And all night even when my mind tells my body that’s enough
And I wanna stand up
Yeah, and I wanna stand tall
If I ever have a son, if I ever have a daughter
I don’t wanna tell ‘em that I didn’t give my all
And, I just want my life to be true
Yeah, and I just want my heart to be true
Yeah, and I just want my words to be true
Turning Up the Volume
Though Mark and Toni had brought their music, unfortunately they did not bring copies of the lyrics for us to look at while listening, which left us at a little of a disadvantage. As a result, the discussion about each of the songs was probably a little shorter and shallower than I had hoped, but still worthwhile if one took notice of the nonverbal cues.
As I watched everyone listen to my song, I think they got (and agreed with) the idea that we all bring baggage into a marriage (and pass it onto our kids), but it seemed a truth either too self-evident or threatening to talk about in-depth. I pushed a little bit on the possible solution in the last stanza:
“I had to get down on my knees, beg her to let me stay
I had to get down on my knees, beg her to let me stay
I said, baby, we got a hold lot of baggage
Let’s call somebody to have ‘em haul it away”
However, any further discussion would have gotten too specific too quickly as to who (or Who) we might call, so I let it go.
On the heels of my song on the realities of marriage, Toni’s song on the ideals of marriage was a nice balance. Toni could have been a little more vulnerable with her entry, but she was guarded in what she said, hiding behind a retelling of the events of the wedding and the reception instead of bring forth some of the meaning of it to her. My sense was that Toni wanted to feel the same feelings she must have felt that night she and Mark first danced to Van Morrison, but she seemed a little unsure where Mark was in his desire for that; thus, she held back a bit.
It was pretty obvious that Mark felt like he had to bring a song because we asked him to, but I wasn’t sure he was too keen on sharing much more than that. While we enjoyed the song, it didn’t lend itself too well to any deeper level of meaning, nor did he seem to want to try to go there by ascribing any to it; it was just a fun song, which was fine. Megan and I voiced our appreciation for They Might Be Giants (particularly their children’s album (they’ve since done a few more), which we had just recently discovered) and sent them home with the kids’ CD as they had yet to hear it.
Megan’s song was well-received, and she shared honestly about both her desire and her failure to live up to the ideals sung about within. Unfortunately, as with my song (and probably because this was the first time our families had gotten together), we didn’t get much further than basic agreement on the values presented, which made me wonder if, in picking songs based on perceived common ground and values we may have shared, perhaps we should have picked songs more vague in content so as to allow others to reveal their values and interpretations?
If I had to do it again, I would have picked songs with more need for speculation and conjecture of meaning, as perhaps ours were too obvious. Still, it was a nice evening that felt a little deeper than just dinner and drinks.
Beyond Cynical to Possible
While I meet plenty of people who like or dislike various genres of music for various and particular reasons, I’ve only met one person in my life who hates music altogether (though this was not the strangest particularity about this gentlemen, so we’ll leave it at that). The reality is that music’s universality in both personal appeal and potential for connection between skeptics and believers alike is obvious; we all love our music.
But, can a single song really make a difference? When asked the question in a New York Times interview in February of 2008, singer/songwriter Neil Young said,
“I know that the time when music could change the world is past. I really doubt that a single song can make a difference. It is a reality.”
I tend to agree; “pop” (shorthand for “popular”) music has become far too diluted by customizable listening services like Spotify and Sirius XM for a song to impact the world (however you might define “the world”). However, I do think we in the Church can do a better job locally of making and playing music that speaks to others in their doubts as much as for us in our faith.
Acts 17 gets at tapping into the religious nature already present in every human being:
“So Paul, standing in the midst of the Areopagus, said:
‘Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription: ‘To the unknown god.’
What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.
And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for
‘In him we live and move and have our being’;
as even some of your own poets have said,
‘For we are indeed his offspring.’”
What if we intentionally included music (rather than just played it as background filler) by way of inclusion in conversations, at listening parties, and the like? What if we purposely made space in our get-togethers to share a song or two that we resonated with, inviting friends (whether skeptics or believers) to do the same and talk about it?
Music can voice what we (and others) may not always choose or be able to express about the human experience. For friends like Mark and Toni – who admitted during our evening together that they did not consider themselves particularly reflective people – music might be able to explain and communicate meaning that we and others initially could not.
So who’s up for a listening party with neighbors? Or maybe for Thanksgiving with family? What song(s) would you play and why? Send me your tune suggestions by Thursday and I’ll compile a list for our consideration and edification next week.
Post(erity): “The Beatles, Maynard & Martin”
Each week, I choose a post from the past that seems apropos of something (of course, you’re always welcome to search the archives yourself whenever you like).
This week’s post - “The Beatles, Maynard & Martin” - is a relatively recent (December 2020) walk down memory lane recalling my music-making days at Mizzou. An excerpt:
“For a 20-year-old kid who all through junior high and high school had persevered playing with small town, salt-of-the-earth musicians still very much learning our instruments, my time at Mizzou was a musical peak that made me a better player and provided plenty of groove goosebumps along the way (having seats on the floor for our then ranked #1 basketball team wasn't too bad, either).”
Peaches’ Picks
Peaches and I finished another book on memoir - Writing Memoir: The Practical Guide to Writing & Publishing the Story of Your Life by Jerry Payne. This one’s shorter and more practical (though not nearly as soaring and inspiring) than last week’s. The good news is that my subject and I seem to have done a few things correctly so far (though theme selection and development is hard), but I’m learning it all just comes back to "butt in chair" diligence to listen and to write. Seven weeks to finish the manuscript!
Fresh & Random Linkage
“1:1 Meetings Are Eating Your Workweek” - A calendar app found that the average professional now spends 21.5 hours a week in meetings. Yikes.
Marketing campaign for the Netflix film, Red Notice - What could go wrong?
Until next time.
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